Scientists say that smart people don’t pay much attention to other people’s advice. Also, people, in general, tend to trust their own opinion more. However, we keep hearing some phrases so frequently that they seem to have been recorded into our brains, from “be smart,” to “don’t react,” to “follow your dreams.”
We are sure that sometimes the most sensible decision is to ignore other people’s advice and think with your own mind. Here are five “nice” tips that can lead to unhappy relationships, lower your chances of landing a job, and ruin your life.
“Support Your Husband No Matter What.”
People with an old-school mentality often give this advice to young people without even thinking about the consequences.
When a family has a partner who works hard and counts every penny and another partner who invests all their money in some questionable business, it is difficult to call them happy.
It is also questionable when the second partner simply lays on the couch, year after year, trying to “find themselves.”
Making decisions on your own, blaming the other person for all your problems, and ignoring the other person’s opinions are all true signs of a toxic relationship.
Supporting blind idealization and suffering for the sake of an abstract good has not yet brought happiness to anyone.
For years, my husband talked non-stop about how he wanted to be a director, then a screenwriter, and now he wants to be an actor/comedian. I supported him for the first 2, bought a camera he never touched, paid for lessons he dropped out and paid for software he never used. Now he wants to take acting classes, and I’m so annoyed. I don’t want to pay for anything else.
I got over it and it makes me feel guilty that I’m not supporting it. Yesterday he was down and down all night because when he asked me if I believed him, I hesitated. Of course, I will doubt, it has been 7 years. © ad030911 / Reddit
“Don’t Go To Bed Angry With Your Significant Other.”
What will happen if people keep fighting, trying to figure out who is right and who is wrong? You get tired, more irritated, and your thoughts confused; you may even want to “sting” your partner even harder.
Negative emotions, along with lack of sleep, make a dangerous cocktail that can bring you more trouble than a solution to the fight. In this situation, it’s better to call it a night and sleep on it.
After a fight, I need time to calm down. Over and over again, my wife will immediately try to “talk about it” with good intentions, but I always say, “I can’t, I need some time to calm down if you want this conversation to be productive,” but they never listen and, sure, the fight breaks out even more. © d_frost / Reddit
“Do What You Love And You’ll Never Work A Day.”
Business experts disagree with this advice. Working is not a way to have fun, but a tool to earn money. Also, there is a big difference between doing what you love just for yourself and doing it for someone in exchange for payment.
The need to adapt to the employer affects creativity and makes it less joyous than before.
I am a filmmaker because I love movies. Loving movies doesn’t make you a competent filmmaker. Now I am a man trapped in the most competitive and great industry. I love when I do that. But I was on a real set for only 19 days last year. © freudsfather / Reddit
“Always Listen To Your Heart And Follow Your Dreams.”
This is very popular and harmful advice. Psychologists remind us that many people are unable to objectively evaluate their past experiences, while at the same time, the rational decision-making process works well for most people.
Therefore, sometimes it is better to darken the emotions and put a cool mind.
I know this lady who, at age 40, ditched her husband and first-grader, wrote an unread self-published book on living out your dreams, celebrated it for about a year, and now lives alone in a tiny, dirty apartment, enjoying his life. regrets. © m_sporkboy / Reddit
“Get Married Now, Love Will Come Later.”
We can continue to debate for a long time about what is most important to relationships: love, comfort, or something else. But the fear of disappointing parents or the desire to marry because of age and the “ticking” of the biological clock are definitely bad reasons to get married.
Both spouses will suffer if there is no love between them, and the saddest thing is that often neither of them dares to stop suffering because they are even afraid to think about divorce and do not want to say no to the accepted model of marriage.
“Marry your best friend, not someone you’re in love with because the passion ends. You will be comfortable, and that is what really matters. Which is very good, until you realize, 5 years later, that your life sucks. Now you’ve been away for 5 years, best friend and partner. © meow_witch / Reddit
What common advice and pieces of “wisdom” do you consider not just silly but harmful? Which one would you never teach your children?