“You take things personally”, “You have no sense of humor” and “You need to calm down” are typical phrases. Thanks to mindfulness and empathy practices, we can now identify gaslighting relatively easily. However, we can still get caught in the vicious cycle of psychological abuse.
We are here to help you live your best life in peace and balance, where there is no room for abuse.
You Start To Question Reality
Gaslighters love to create an atmosphere of confusion and disagreement between other people. Victims of gaslighting are overwhelmed and cannot understand what really happened.
They begin to wonder if something really happened. So instead of doubting the behavior of the gaslighter, the victim tries to prevent the next psychological attack.
As a result, doubt grows and the whole situation turns dark. According to Dr. George Simon, victims question reality and question themselves. They even doubt their sanity. You may feel like you are in control, but at the same time, you think it is absurd.
What to do: Use your critical thinking. Ask your friends or family if you are unsure about something and share your concerns with them. Another great trick is to stand your ground without drama. Stay calm and in control. Use facts to judge the opinion of the gaslighter and show how absurd their judgment is.
Your Emotions Are Belittled
Gaslighters make you feel like your opinion doesn’t matter. They force you to believe that you are speaking in the heat of the moment. Your fears and worries are trivialized.
For example, “You are always so dramatic”, “You are paranoid” or “You are exaggerating” are typical phrases that you should know. Consequently, if you approach a gaslighter for help, you are often laughed at and left alone.
What to do: If you believe something to be true, don’t let others not believe you. Don’t fall into the trap of accepting the gaslighter’s judgment on you.
You Can’t Imagine Your Life Without The Gaslighter
Gaslighters break your stamina and plant seeds of doubt. They guarantee that you will be under their “care” and “protection.” They almost always go from cruel to loving in seconds, which makes you feel even more confused.
What to do: Remember that gaslighters control people who feel a wave of unhealthy anxiety at the thought of losing it. However, remember that they won’t reciprocate their love towards you.
It’s also a great idea to communicate with other people rather than lock yourself in your room. That way you can see the situation from a different perspective.
Remember to stay away from people supporting the gaslighter.
Your Partner Pretends To Be The Victim, Making You The Abuser
Once you start defending yourself, the gaslighter will become the victim. They will blame you and, on top of that, they will accuse you of other things that you didn’t even do. This is done to get your attention.
What to do: Don’t try to get back at the lighter. While it may feel good at first, it will inevitably lead to devastation and disappointment. Also, lighters rarely give up, so they will also get back at you if they find out about your vendetta.
You Can’t Make Simple Decisions
According to Dr. Robin Stern, this is one of the main signs of gaslighting. If you’re having a hard time making the simplest decisions, like choosing when to go to bed or which toothbrush to buy, it’s a real problem. Gaslighters gain control over you, making you feel helpless and powerless.
What to do: While personal decisions can also affect the people around you, you should also pay attention to your opinion. Set boundaries between you and the gas lighter and don’t let them affect every aspect of your life.
Have you tried gas lighting? Have you ever been a gas lighter by accident?