If your child is prone to throwing seemingly for the slightest reason, or for no reason at all, then no matter how good a parent you are, you won’t always be able to control your temper during your child’s seizure. You may be irritable and angry with your child and with yourself. At the same time, you may feel how helpless you are, and then comes exhaustion and discouragement.
Add to that the embarrassment over your child’s behavior, if he or she was naughty in public, and multiply that by all the time, wasted, because neither you nor your child can do anything during the tantrum.
Screams and tears will also have consequences. Frequent tantrums affect a child’s nervous system and can also become a bad habit.
Well, stopping a tantrum is not as difficult a job as you think, and we will show you how.
Detachment
This method is the easiest and the most difficult at the same time. Your main idea is to put aside your child’s tantrums and not react in any way to this rebellious behavior.
The ease here is that you don’t have to do anything. Go on or start doing what you were doing and ignore the screaming child.
But the difficulty is in this itself. Trying to ignore the tantrum when your own anger is already boiling inside you and you want to stop it at once is a difficult task.
However, keep your face straight and continue with some simple and concrete tasks. Clean up a bit, for example, or pick up toys from the lawn. It would be better if you left your children’s neighborhood in a rage and waited until they came to you of their own free will.
There is a nuance to this method: it must contain not only your tongue but also your face and body language. Your child should not realize that you are angry at all, because a tantrum does not belong in your house, it is just an unpleasant stranger who does not deserve your attention.
And when your child finally comes to you, don’t remind them of what he already went through scolding that little red, puffy face.
Complete the task you are doing together and then have fun together too.
Distraction
This form is the most popular and it is very simple: distract your child with a sudden question or call to action so that their attention shifts from crying to interacting with an adult.
The question could be difficult, requiring at least momentary reflection, or it could be too simple to catch the child off guard because of its obviousness.
Tough questions: ‘Hey, what is that boy going to do with the swing? It does not sway! ‘(with this, you should at least turn around and look at the boy); – Did a phone just ring? (spread your ears here)
Obvious questions: ‘Wow! Where is your nose “Wow, these shoes you’re wearing?”
An action you call the child to should be simple and done almost mechanically. “Calm down” is not concrete action, do you know how to do it yourself? “Getting off the ground”, in turn, is not an easy task, as your child wants to lie down and cry.
Try suggesting the following: “You got your pants dirty, hit them” or “Your hair is a mess, let’s fix it.” It goes without saying that any question should be asked in a totally interested or surprised tone, while a call to action should be calm and not invite discussion.
Captivation
This method is probably the most difficult and will only work for adults who are absolutely sure of their acting talent.
After returning from a walk, you leave the crying child at the door and start rummaging through the bag. ‘Wow, how many things do you have here ?! Empty envelopes, some cards … What do I do with all this? Let’s see what’s in the other pocket. The child will almost certainly turn their attention to a real adult card or envelope.
And if you face the tantrum without getting angry and with words like, ‘Look who’s got a case of mischief! We need some medicine. And the best remedy for mischief is cake! ‘and then you’re going to bake a cake (if you cook and love to do it, of course), then there won’t be a tantrum at least that day.
Severity
I would like you to notice very well that severe does not mean cruel. The severity method is only for parents who can control their anger.
The first option is an adult decision that does not depend on the child’s behavior. If it is time to go home, and your child has been warned about this in advance and he or she does not want to and has a tantrum, you should not give in, get nervous or explain anything to the screaming child, just accept by hand (or in your hands if necessary) and go home.
The second option won’t stop the mischief attack right away, but it could make it weirder. There must be a punishment for bad behavior.
For example, if your child starts yelling during a morning walk, you leave them without a night walk; or if he or she doesn’t want to pick up the thrown toys and starts crying about it, you pick them up yourself but don’t return them for a while.
This method is suitable for children three years and older.
Preview photo credit izzy brierley
Leave a Reply