How to Tell If Someone Is Manipulating You—And What to Do

With the intention of having some kind of benefit or control over those around them, some people may emotionally manipulate their peers. Most of the time they will use dishonest or exploitative strategies that you should try to avoid at all costs so as not to get involved in their problems.

Of course, keep in mind that we can all be somewhat manipulative in some way. However, if it is something that we notice that starts to happen all the time, we must be aware and handle things carefully so as not to hurt ourselves and stop stimulating these types of situations between us.

We have done a bit of research to find out which are the most common techniques that emotional manipulators use and has put together a list of some of them so you can know when someone is trying to use them on you.

Signs You’re Dealing With an Emotional Manipulator

They Don’t Want To Do Something Even If They Say They Do, And Then They Avoid Direct Confrontation

People who have a manipulative personality are often pessimistic and resentful and express their conflicts through anger disguised in acts such as procrastination, stubbornness, and ineffectiveness, so it is not uncommon for them to do this.

Picture someone at work refusing a request, but instead of just saying no, that person does so indirectly and hides the fact that they did it. Most of the time, they will also try to avoid dealing with the consequences of their decision. This can constitute what is known as passive-aggressive behavior.

In this type of situation, it is advisable to make the person who exhibits passive-aggressive behavior see that they are responsible for their faults. That way they will stop blaming you if that’s the case. At the same time, this will help you put your needs first and, by doing so, you will avoid falling into their trap, causing you to take the blame.

In any case, it is essential to avoid playing with people who have proven to have manipulative personalities. Never approach the situation from an angry place. Instead, think first of your health and happiness.

They Make Other People Feel Embarrassed So They Will Come To Them In A Vulnerable State

Manipulation can become a type of social and emotional harassment. For example, in some cases, it can take the form of what is sometimes known as intellectual harassment. In these situations, the handler often assumes the role of an expert in the field, while the alleged victim, feeling ashamed and inferior, may decide to go to the handler to obtain some information that could later be beneficial.

To deal with this, it is best not to get into a power struggle. This advice, of course, is true in most cases, but it is especially relevant when it comes to manipulators. Remember that if the actions and words of the abuser do not affect us, the handler will eventually feel ashamed of their behavior at some point.

If someone insists on highlighting a past mistake that you or someone else has repeatedly made, tell them that it is not important and that it does not matter anymore.

They Distort Facts To Make People Doubt Their Own Perception, Judgment, Or Memory

When someone alters the facts of an event, causing another person to distrust their own memory, perception and question their own instincts, it is normal for the victim to feel insecure and with a high degree of uncertainty. This type of manipulation compromises confidence and a sense of reality.

At the end of the day, the victim may even confuse what is true and what is not, which is why this technique is especially dangerous, so it is important to be aware of this.

One of the signs that you are under this type of emotional manipulation is just when you start to question everything you do and think, without really having any reason to doubt things.

In this situation, it is recommended that you trust your judgment and instincts, show confidence, and identify people you can trust to give you insight into the situation. It must be taken into account that, in some cases, these types of actions may require professional help to be taken care of.

They Put Pressure On Others And Give Them Little Or No Time To Decide

Emotional manipulation can happen in all kinds of places and situations. In fact, you may even run into this when someone uses it as a sales and negotiation tactic, where a potential customer’s weakness is exploited.

This is often done to pressure them to buy something without considering whether or not they are ready to make a conscious decision about the purchase.

Clearly, these techniques are not as harmful as, say, manipulating people into not completely believing, as we have seen before. Most of the time it helps to learn to know when you are being pressured to do something because then you can easily act, for example, distancing yourself from the person, trying to buy time and looking at other options, as well as getting second opinions.

Important decisions take time and should be made when you feel good, calm, and in control.

They Come On Too Strong And Too Fast

Another common tactic emotional manipulators use, because it is so effective, is trying to make others feel extremely special. Of course, this is just one way to force them to easily open up and share their secrets.

A good way to tell if this is happening to you is to keep your ears and eyes open when someone is feeling overconfident before you actually know yourself. This could be a sure sign that they might actually intrude on personal sensitivities to use against you later.

Have you ever been through something like this? How did you handle it? Let us know in the comments and share your thoughts. Your experience can be invaluable to someone dealing with a similar problem!