Science shows that some separations are so painful that they can be compared to the loss of a family member; and still, some people will say, “Wait, time heals everything.” But that is not enough. If you really want to heal and move on, it’s smarter to come up with a strategy and plan to avoid unnecessary suffering while letting time heal everything.
That’s why we believe this 6-step action plan can help you recover faster and get over your ex for good. We know how difficult it can be to leave someone you love, so we are here to help you through the process.
Most Effective Tips to Forget an Ex
Have A Mourning Period
Our brain associates separation with pain. In fact, the psychological distress can be so excruciating that, for couples, separation from a spouse alone causes more stress than the loss of a close family member. In a way, something dies: the bond and the future of the relationship they had together.
That is why it is a good idea to go through a period of grieving and finally accept that it is all over.
Don’t Fall Into The Trap Of Idealizing The Relationship
The relationship was not perfect. However, after a breakup, we tend to forget the difficult parts, romanticize the best parts of the relationship, and idealize our exes.
Instead of glorifying the past, try making a list of all the elements that caused the relationship to fail. Consider your ex’s attitude and flaws. Maybe it was not the right time.
Maybe you were moving towards different goals. Keep this list visible so that whenever you “feel the need” to call him, you will remember why it’s not even worth trying.
Change Your Mindset And Your Ally
Studies show that generally, the hardest step in trying to forget about your ex is to dismiss them as your attachment figure, that is, the person you trust for validation and support; your ally.
Try to change your way of thinking and understand that your brain can change your attachment figure. Get away from them by replacing them with someone close to you, preferably someone who loves you unconditionally, such as a father, sister, or your own children.
They can help you remember who you really are. Spend more time with them and train your brain to understand that closeness and intimacy don’t necessarily have to come from your ex.
Reject The “friendship Request.”
He may say “but we can still be friends.” No, they can’t be friends and they know it. Make no mistake, whether it ended on good or bad terms, you cannot instantly become friends.
Accelerating a friendship when your heart is still aching will only lead to more pain, heartache, and probably a worse breakup experience.
Friendship can only be the result of you no longer had romantic emotions for each other.
Eliminate The Possibility Of Contact
Once you’ve internalized that your romantic ex is no longer your ally, make an effort not to contact them at all. No phone calls, no emails, no text messages. Make sure it doesn’t appear in your social media feeds either.
You will need to be strong and assertive to achieve this because he may want to communicate with you and you will have to explain why this is not helpful or, if that does not work, ignore or block him.
Instead of texting him or answering his calls, try calling a friend or new ally to remind you why it’s not a good idea.
Forget About Contacting His Friends And Family
In the course of a relationship, we spend a lot of time with our partner’s friends and family, who will eventually grow closer to us. But once you’re done, it’s a good idea to avoid meeting or contacting them.
Not only will you be tempted to ask about him, but they will also remind you of your ex and give you an update on his life as if he is already dating again or trapped in a depression.
Accept the loss, plan how to limit your suffering, and start letting go. How did you feel going through the worst breakup?
Did you do something that helped speed up the healing process? Could you share your experience below? Someone in our community might need this advice.
Preview photo credit 13 Reasons Why / Paramount Television
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