According to this study, only 50% of the people we consider our friends think the same in return. These people may spend time with us because they want to receive something from us or they think that having a lot of friends is good for their image.
But even if your friendship started out of mutual interest, it may change to something completely different over time.
Sure, misunderstandings and fights can happen even between your dearest friends, but if these relationships make you uncomfortable on a regular basis and often bother you, it may be time to think about whether or not you need to continue with them.
Psychologists Susan Heitler and Sharon Livingston, summarize the signs of toxic friendships and explain how you can change the situation.
Your Friend Makes You Compete With Their Other Friends
Your friend always tells you how much their other friends are more interesting than you and how much fun they had together, making you jealous and bored.
Most Of The Time During Your Meetings, You Speak About Your Friend’s Matters, But They’re Not Interested In Your Problems
Your friend loves to telling you of their news but as soon as you try to say something about yourself, they receive an urgent message to reply or finds another reason not to listen.
Your Friend Criticizes You Condescendingly But Doesn’t Accept Your Criticism
Honesty in relationships is very important; Constructive criticism can be very helpful. But a toxic friend doesn’t skimp on their feelings by saying you need to hit the gym or get a better haircut.
Their goal is not to tell the truth, but to humiliate you. But that friend can be really indignant if you try to do the same.
You Initiate Meetings More Often Than Your Friend Does
They don’t seem interested in communicating with you and they don’t contribute to your relationship.
The opposite question maybe when your friend is very clingy and takes all your time, which is not that great either.
You Always Fear An Emotional Swing
The inconsistency and unpredictability of your friend’s behavior always catch you off guard.
Yesterday you had a nice talk on the phone, and today they ignore you and you wonder what you did wrong.
You Are Always Cautious About Saying Something Wrong Which Can Set Off Your Friend’s Anger
Your friend is often offended and angry with you, which is why you always feel tense in her presence and are afraid of saying the wrong thing.
Why Is It So Difficult To Part With A Toxic Friend? How Do You Do It?
It seems like it would be easy to end relationships you don’t like, but it’s not always that simple.
Toxic friends can have their positive characteristics. Psychologist Yan Yager, in his book When Friendship Hurts, says that toxic signs only reveal themselves once in a while, and the rest of the time, your friend is ready to help and comfort you. In that case, consider all the pros and cons of these relationships. If that person always breaks their promises, drinks and does not return your things, takes advantage of your help or tells your secrets to other people, then perhaps the willingness to go to the movies or have a coffee with you is not so important.
Humiliating comments are often presented as jokes and with a smile and a saying such as “I always think about what is best for you.” When an insult has what is called a friendly packaging, it is much more difficult to distinguish it, but do not be deceived by it.
We are afraid to stay alone. This fear is a common reason why people are willing to tolerate a bad attitude from a friend. But if you are open and friendly, new relationships will always find you.
Your relationships are long-lasting and bring back good memories. Even if an old friendship brings nothing but irritation, your common past may cause you to doubt your decision to break up. This separation can be similar to a separation from love. All you can do is be patient and survive.
You cannot understand your feelings. You may experience a wide range of emotions towards that person: love, anger, and irritation. You have to decide which emotions prevail and choose whether to continue this relationship or not.
You think you deserve that attitude. Sometimes you try to find excuses for the attitude of your toxic friend and you think: “Maybe they are right and I am very sensitive?” But if you have to be perfect to be treated kindly, is this really a friendship?
You have mutual friends. If you don’t want your friends to choose sides, it’s best to avoid open warfare and official separation. Try to distance yourself slowly and gradually to avoid rumors and accusations.
Are you done with your friends? Tell us your story in the comments below.